February 16, 2005          Volume 1, Issue 1
 
 
Missouri Bar Workers' Compensation Quarterly
 

 

 

The Missouri Bar
P.O. Box 119
Jefferson City, MO 65102
Phone: 573/635-4128
Fax: 573/635-2811
 

  
On a lighter note. . .

INJURED PIRATE
"After many years at sea a pirate decided to retire. Since he had suffered injuries on the job, he thought that he should collect on his workers' compensation insurance. He had a wooden leg, a hook where his right hand should be and a patch over his right eye.

The agent assured him that he would be compensated if the injuries were work related. "How did you get the wooden leg?" In a booming voice the pirate replied, "Me and me mates were on the high seas when the boom she swang 'round and knocked me into the sea where a shark bit off me leg."

The agent said, "That is certainly work related. How did you lose your hand?" The pirate replied, "Well matey, me and me mates were on the high seas when the boom she swang 'round and knocked me into the sea where a shark bit off me hand."

The agent said again, "That is also work related. How did you lose your eye?" In a booming voice the pirate replied, "Well matey, I was laying on the deck one balmy day catching some rays when this seagull flew by and dropped his duty right in me eye!"

The agent questioned, "What does that have to do with the loss of your eye?" The pirate replied, "It were me first day with me hook!"

Internet source: http://www.drpsychotic.com/jokes/jokes13.html

DOCTOR COMP
 Dear Doctor Comp:

I am lost and don't know what to do. I was deposing a doctor the other day, and he answered a question that wasn't written in his report. I knew I should ask him something about what he said, but, as best I can tell, I don't think there was a question like it on the list that my boss gave me. I even tried to call my boss, but I guess the reception wasn't so good due to the prison walls.

I even asked the court reporter, but that didn't help. She said it had something to do with a synergistal fact, but I don't remember that term from my Admin Law class and nobody talked about it at the seminar my boss told me to go to. Why did the doctor have to go and do that?

Sincerely,
Lost in Translation

Dear Lost in Translation:

Who knows why doctors do what they do? They never listen to us anyway, and just go off and say any old thing that's on their mind, even when we don't want them to say it. It would be so much clearer if we could just cut out the middle-man and do the testifying ourselves, wouldn't it?

Don't worry about what happened at the deposition. Facts, synergistical or otherwise, rarely get in the way of a good result, and, anyway, who pays attention to what the doctors say?

Sincerely,
Doctor Comp

(Doctor Comp is not a medical doctor––or even an osteopath––and does not play one on TV, even in commercials. Dr. Comp is licensed to practice massage therapy by the protectorate of Puerto Rico and the nation of Usbekistan. All questions to Dr. Comp should be in words of three syllables or less, if possible. No Latin terms, please).