Missouri lost a great lady today.
As I write this on a Sunday afternoon, Carolyn Birkes, beloved wife of Missouri Bar Executive Director Keith Birkes, has lost her struggle to overcome respiratory and other complications following surgery on her back. She died with Keith, daughter Lara, and other family members beside her. Young son Clayton remained at home with Keiths mother. The family is devastated, and shock waves are passing through the extended bar "family" of which Carolyn was one of our most valued members.
Carolyn McLaughlin was born on January 12, 1954, and raised in Michigan. She met Keith while she was an undergraduate student at Stephens College and he was in law school at MU. They married June 29, 1974; their lovely daughter Lara was born in 1979. Son Clayton followed much later in 1994.
Carolyn was an artist by training, and much of her adult life was devoted to various arts organizations in mid-Missouri. She was for several years the executive director of the Columbia Art League. More recently she operated the gift shop at Columbia Regional Hospital in Columbia, and was giving serious consideration to resuming her own artistic endeavors.
More importantly, Carolyn was a devoted wife, mother and friend. Her gentle and fun-loving spirit was the heart of her family. She and Keith loved the outdoors, dining, dancing and fun! As a mother myself, I watched Carolyn deal firmly, adroitly and lovingly with a teenager and a toddler, surely the two most difficult periods of childhood. She was quite simply a superb mother, and I had the greatest admiration for her gifts.
Carolyns devotion to Keith and his various pursuits was remarkable, particularly since she was not a climber, skier, golfer or hunter. Yet she loved the outdoors and their home in the country. She loved the travel that formed a big part of Keiths work, and was a tireless visitor to museums and galleries, antique stores and boutiques. Her artistic interests ranged from estate jewelry pieces to contemporary glass work, and her taste was impeccable.
Keith Birkes has long been regarded as one of the best bar directors in the country. A large part of Keiths excellence has been Carolyn. Her skills as a hostess, manager, conversationalist, her unflagging energy, spirit and beauty -- all contributed greatly to the bar experience of those she came to know. She enjoyed life and people; and people enjoyed being around her. We will all miss her so.
This great sadness is a bittersweet reminder of the fragility of life and the importance of living to the fullest. Carolyn Birkes lived her life well, but she lost it too soon. As lawyers, we too frequently put off many important aspects of life as we relentlessly pursue the billable hour and contingent fee -- the Golden Fleece! Today, I say -- go home! Go home and love your spouse, children, grandchildren, parents, siblings, pets, other family and friends. Go home and be happy with all the wonderful people, places and things you have known. Go home and celebrate life!
Keith and Carolyn Birkes and their children had a wonderful life. Their family will remain strong, in part because Carolyn endowed them with qualities that will sustain them through this crisis. Keith will continue to be the best bar executive in the country. Lara will continue to be a beautiful, talented, adventurous young woman. Clayton will continue to be a great kid, and eventually a fine young man. But they will never be the same again. They lost a great wife and mother. Many of us lost a great friend. And Missouri lost a great lady today.
--Jennifer Gille Bacon