Wounded Lawyers
By Jim Howard, Licensed Professional Counselor,
Director, Missouri Lawyers’ Assistance Program
After reading an article on "Post-Traumatic Disorder and Substance Abuse Among Vietnam Veterans" in the November/December, 1995, issue of the EAPA Exchange magazine, it occurred to me that there may be members of The Missouri Bar who served in Vietnam who are still haunted by the wounds from that experience, including Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). It is estimated that 830,000 veterans, approximately 30% of the 2.8 million who served in Vietnam, have experienced PTSD. PTSD related symptoms include:
Depression. Depression is the most common symptom among Vietnam veterans. Depression can take the form of sleep disturbances, feelings of worthlessness, and difficulty in concentrating.
Isolation. Many Vietnam veterans have few close friends. They tend to avoid others and mistrust those in authority. This isolation may be increased by how others view them. Some civilians view what a soldier does in a war a horrible crime.
Rage. Rage and anger are common among veterans, who do not always know themselves why they are angry. Rage can be as frightening to the veterans themselves as to others, but rage may not often be obvious to others.
Avoidance of Feelings. Numbing the pain, a technique that was learned in Vietnam as a survival skill, is still intact with many veterans. Events such as deaths of significant others often do not produce feelings. They may not experience joy as well.
Guilt. Much less has been written about survival guilt. While survival guilt does occur, it is not the only type of guilt experienced. Many veterans express guilt at the euphoric and destructive qualities that can occur in a war setting.
Anxiety Reactions. It is rare to encounter a Vietnam veteran who does not exhibit heightened senses, such as hearing and smell that can be traced to the war. These heightened senses cause many veterans to avoid crowds and people in general and lead to greater isolation.
Sleep Disturbances. To many veterans, sleep is viewed as an enemy because it is often associated with traumatic nightmares. One way to avoid sleep is by using drugs and alcohol.
Re-experiencing the Event.. Flashbacks can occur in which the veterans re-experience actual war-related events. To experience a flashback is a traumatic experience in itself.
According to the National Vietnam Veterans Readjustment (NVVRS) Study (1988), 22.2% of male Vietnam veterans with a current PTSD diagnosis suffer from alcohol abuse and dependency.The Missouri Lawyers’ Assistance Program is now providing assistance to Vietnam veterans who are members of The Missouri Bar.
The following piece also appeared in the Exchange article:
THE DEATH OF A SOUL
Did you know I died in Vietnam?
It was not a bloody death.Only the death of my soul.
It was the "essence of life" that gave wholeness.
The link with God and the universe.
The inner substance that provides security.
Especially in those desperate hours.
It was the Spiritual Self that died.
K.I.A. 1968!
There was no blood, no tangible evidence, no medal,
no letter home announcing the deceased.
No prayers and no tears were shed.
Nor has any wall been erected; nor a memorial been built.
Nothing!
Only a sense of violation. An emptiness, a change, an inner
void.
An ever-present sense of loss.
The kind of loss you feel when you lose a loved one.
A heartache that lingers forever with you.
You are left struggling without your spirituality or
wholeness.
Only an agony remains!
Darwin D. Savage – 101 Airborne
Reprint permission has been granted by the EAP Association. Excerpts from this article originally appeared in the November/December issue of the Exchange.